My journey to weight loss

From the ages of 10-13, I was deprived food and constantly weighed by my step mother at the time, and I wasn't even over weight. I went through a lot of other trama during that time that I really don't want to talk about and since then my metabolism and my emotional well being has never been the same.

Child services took me out of my home and flew me from California to Florida to live with my Grandparents. I went through some therapy, but probably not enough, and I have struggled with my weight ever since. My grandparents never deprived me of food, but I still hid food in my room everywhere.  Late at night when they would fall asleep I would even use the can opener I hid in my room to eat cold raviolis out of the can. To this day, I am still trying to drill it in my head that if I try something that is ridiculous good I don't have to eat it all in one sitting or more than one serving. It will be there tomorrow, next week or next year.

Once I graduated high school I moved back to California to make a mends with my father. I worked out every day, and I would Rollerblade for miles. I lost 98 pounds.

I always had this dream in my head since I was a little kid that I would be an actress/singer on tv and I would be on Saturday Night Live, on the Grand Ole Opry or maybe even on Broadway. Although I had the talent, I needed to succeed I didn't have anyone around to support or polish what I had. I moved to Nashville in 2002, and I was so determined that I was going to make it. I drove from California to Nashville by myself in an old car (how I made it there I will never know). I slept in my car for about a month, and I sang in honky tonks around Nashville.

A bartender took notice in me and asked about my journey, and after she realized I have been barley eating the bar made me food on the house. After I sang with the band, the bartender and her husband (a singer in the band) told me that there was a vacancy at their apartment complex, and I could stay with them until morning, and we could go talk to the landlord.

The Landlord was kind enough to sign a lease for me with no payment down, and I was able to use what I had for first month's rent, and then I immediately got a job at "Steak n Shake." I had worked there before, so it was an easy transition. From there I ended up working at the world famous, "Wild Horse Saloon." I worked there for about three years and during that time my dream was crushed over and over again. I was so depressed that I would go to three different drive-thru's an order food. I would go to McDonald's, then to Jack N' Box and then to Krystals. It only took a month before I was 40 pounds over weight. I didn't stop there though. I kept going until I was almost 100 pounds over weight.

Severely depressed I decided to move to Chicago to per sue my next dream of Saturday Night Live. Some comedians are successful and fat right? I attended Second City, and I graduated. Even though Lorne Michaels never came knocking on my door to audition for Saturday Night Live I felt accomplished since I graduated, and I was ready to move back to Los Angeles and forget about all this stardom nonsense. As I was getting ready to move back to California, I met my husband, although I didn't know it at the time. He knows my battle with weight loss and why I struggle with it, and he is supportive and whether I lose weight or not he doesn't care and will still love me.

With my knowledge on weight, he has shed almost 50 pounds and went from being a diabetic to pre-diabetic and is almost off his medication. His Doctor asked him how he did and he said, "All Natural and Organic foods and very, very little fried foods". Even if you say your diabetes is genetic or non reversible I really don't believe it. I think if you lose weight and eat All Natural and Organic Foods diabetics can be a battle that is won.

I plan on losing this weight once and for all. There is no more time for bull-shiting and making excuses. I am 33 years old with a 2 month old and a 1 year old, and I want to be around for them until I am 100 or at least do whatever I can do to stay healthy for him as long as possible.

I am hoping by sharing my story. I can move on and beat this weight loss thing. I know how to do it, and I have helped lots of others lose weight, but I have never helped myself. I have been through a lot, and that is why I need your support! Thanks in advance for your encouraging words and for those going through the same thing, please know I would love to be there for you too!


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